Two Years of Trying to Like Beetroot

My heart does not beet for it!

Beet Harvest II (or Harvesting beetroots II), a painting by the Polish artist Leon Wyczółkowski (1852–1936), National Museum in Warsaw.

This tale began with one beetroot tikki (Indian style cutlet). Most of the time, fried, unhealthy foods are tastier than their healthier-cooking-method versions. But this pan-fried, dark magenta, supposedly healthy, roundel on the plate had not even made an effort to be palatable. Sitting on its own high horse, it had presumed I would relish its spiced-up avatar as I chewed it wondering, why! To me it felt like it had already lived a life and should have been ordained moksha.

You know how insistent Indian hosts are, “Beetroot is so healthy. You must eat it.”

People eat and serve beetroot dressed as salad, emulsified in soup, grated in raita, crushed with spices in chutney, shaking hands with hummus, in a dip, killer-sweet in halwa, or some other reincarnation. They begin with extolling its virtues as if they are describing the strong points of a young woman or man they know of, for a matrimonial alliance.

Now, I have never said no to veggies, some I like, and some I eat just because they are good for health. But beetroot has earned a separate stage for itself- its own lighting, its own character, its own presence.

There are papers, in fact, many, many papers, listing what beetroot does for the human body. The list is longer than my to-do list.

…wide variety of researches have highlighted the bioactivity of beetroot in antioxidant, anti‐inflammatory, antitumor, hepato‐protective, cognitive improvement, blood pressure regulation, … Beetroot as functional food--https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8565237/

So, yes, I know that beetroot is in a morally superior position than some other vegetables I eat. I have learnt- it has iron, manganese, potassium, vitamin C and E, antioxidants like polyphenols and anthocyanin. It helps build stamina and immunity, lowers blood pressure, brings a glow to the skin, even enhances athletic performance and is anti-carcinogenic. Vegans and vegetarians might prefer beet sugar because it has no bone char.

All this makes me feel as if the high-performance vegetable is coming for an interview armed with a resume.  

Explaining its health benefits, a doctor friend mentioned that ancient Middle Easterners grew it for its greens, though we, in India, eat only the root. So, on his suggestion, and in my effort to be impartial to this food item, I turned my kitchen into a test lab for two years, and ran controlled trials once every fortnight, with beetroot as the main ingredient under observation.

Because beetroot is very good for circulation, I tried to circulate it into each dish, every single form.

I sliced it thin, thick, grated it. I ate it raw, boiled it, sauteed it, stir fried it, made it into a soup. I made beetroot kanji. I even grilled it with olive oil, a touch of pepper and salt like a respectable European vegetable. It did not work for me. I prefer potatoes, carrots, onions, zucchini, cauliflower, broccoli, tomatoes, even garlic, but beetroot, nah!

At dinners and in other people’s houses, I tried beetroot juice, cutlets, rolls, parathas and kheer. I ignored the pinkish tinge when an acquaintance served pulao with beetroot powder. In south-Indian thalis, I quietly finished my portion of poriyal/thoran with coconut.

And then, this week, I conducted another test on this most over-promised vegetable. I made a beetroot cake. Like some disappointments, beetroot did not ruin the recipe completely, it just changed it. The recipe had said it was the healthier version of red velvet cake; it had lied. I find nothing wrong with coco powder and vinegar instead.

For two winters now, I have stood the faint smell of beetroot which people call earthy. No, it does not have the sondhi smell or petrichor the earth has after rain. It reminds me of DDT (dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane) powder. Remember that government supplied insecticide some decades ago to kill pests in stored wheat, attics, along open drains, around hedges, any place where its poor cousin of the same colour -bleaching powder, enjoys the prime position now?

There is also something theatrical about beetroot’s need to be noticed. No other vegetable announces itself so dramatically. Carrots smile sweetly. Potatoes blend in. Spinach collapses respectfully. But beetroot just has to leave evidence- on chopping boards, fingernails, dishcloths, even on unsuspecting cotton kurtas. It stains everything. The tell-tale marks it leaves, make me feel I am Count Dracula’s vegetarian relative.  Even after washing, there is a faint reminder: I was here. It behaves less like a vegetable and more like a VIP who was invited to perform wellness and expects a red carpet. It does not want casual treatment, it wants commitment.  

Now I have made my decision. If beetroot, which is merely a root vegetable after all, wants admiration, it can have it from the rest of the world. In my case, beetroot and I have reached a calm truce. Like a neighbour you are not pally with, you nod at but never befriend, we coexist politely. I acknowledge its virtues. It respects my distance. We do not pretend to enjoy each other.

If the world decides to observe one day as beetroot day, I am sure I am not marking that on my calendar.

 The advertisement on the left is for the first mass-produced biscuits
in England for dogs in 1860s.

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                                                                                                    - Anupama S Mani