Why Indian tourists should never hold back

Passport to Performance                                                                                                                                                 - Anupama S Mani

I have been made to understand that India is now a world leader. We are the most populous country on earth, our economy is rising and our people are found in every corner of the globe. It is therefore only natural that the world should take a keen interest in our activities.

Having already exported our software engineers, doctors and mango laasey (lassi), we now seem to be exporting our holiday habits with equal enthusiasm. Indeed, several countries have begun closely monitoring Indian tourists, a level of international attention previously reserved for nuclear programmes, migratory bird populations and fluctuating crude prices.

After palatial houses, collection of apartments, gold jewellery dumped in bank lockers, expensive cars parked hood-to bumper in narrow lanes, what else can a new rich Indian of a viksit bharat (developed India) gift his family? Why, a vacation in a foreign land, of course!

Large groups of chirping people, dressed in their colourful best, honest in their opinions about the site and risking their limbs and lives for a reel or selfie, Indian tourists are everywhere.

Let us announce to the world that speaking loudly is our love language. After all, in the iconic film Sholay late Dharmendra had climbed atop the overhead water tank to loudly warn- In jail, Mausiji (aunt) chakki (stone mill) peesing (grinding) and peesing and peesing!

I remember how a small bus emptied its innards outside UNESCO World heritage site Ananuri Fortress in Georgia and within minutes my compatriots spread out everywhere like an army, whipped out their phones and started posing for selfies on every half-broken stone step. Why should they have lowered their voices just because they were in another country? If the fortress has stood silently for centuries, it should not suddenly protest the instructions about mota masi’s gigantic floral skirt pattern clashing with banevi’s check shirt for the family photo.

From our childhood we are taught to share, so sharing somebody else’s personal space, staring to absorb better and asking seemingly awkward questions is only because we are genuinely interested in people around us.

After all, isn’t everyone asking Google weird questions and that is not even human!

Why don’t the people of the world realise that we are in the race for becoming a developed nation? So, what is wrong if we compete with the aircraft itself taxiing to the gate --- unbuckling our seatbelts, and jumping up as soon as a flight lands, to open the overhead luggage compartments, even before the seatbelt sign is switched off?

Almost all foreigners enthusiastically consume butter chicken. It seems inconsistent, therefore, to object to the natural atmosphere from which butter chicken emerges.

Thailand which moved India out of its visa-exemption regime to Visa on Arrival category this year, may regret it when their tourism sector realizes how much economic activity is generated by one extended Punjabi family travelling with three generations, nine checked suitcases and enough snacks to survive a minor siege.

When we travel abroad, we do not merely carry passports. We carry that patriotic zeal which ensures that nobody within a 200-metre radius forgets where we are from.

A happy time spent in a country makes our heart overflow with joy and gratitude, our dopamine levels shoot up, heartbeat rate goes up, feet start stomping to the tune of a Bollywood song or folk dance. So why begrudge some happy tourists their little Garba performance at the tarmac around a parked VietJet aeroplane in Vietnam?

Why should the world be nervous about it? We have the capability of dancing anywhere — a supermarket, a tarmac in Vietnam, a railway track in Hanoi, an amusement park in Japan —without the burden of tickets, invitations or relevance to the location.

After all, the woman who posted the message, “Vietnam ke Train Street gaye aur Chhaiyaa Chhaiyaa nahi kiya toh kya Train Street gaye,” (went to train Street in Vietnam and didn’t dance to Chahiyya Chhaiyya, then how does it even count?), explained it all!

I was, however, dismayed at the poor standard of that dance. “No coordination ... at least dance toh dhang sey kerte.” (They should have danced properly at least), a social media user had pointed out.

A Swiss mountain valley that has echoed only with cowbells for centuries should be grateful for a song and dance sequence or detailed discussion of property disputes in Ghaziabad.

Once, in Berlin, the wife of an embassy staffer came giggling to a gathering. She said that the local bus driver told her to get off because she was laughing loudly in the bus. He said he was being distracted. Getting distracted by somebody laughing? Why was he not focussing on the road ahead? People pay psychiatrists to help them be cheerful and he did not like somebody laughing?

I would also point out the hypocritical ‘holier than thou’ stance of people in other countries who themselves enjoy noisy carnivals, boisterous football games and raucous bachelor parties.

The highest compliment an Indian tourist can pay a foreign destination is to make it indistinguishable from a crowded Indian railway station. No wonder then the check-in area at the HCMC airport gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling: children running around with loaded trolleys, parents shouting after them, toddlers spreadeagled fast asleep on seats, older folks sprawled on chairs snoozing, empty namkeen packets and water bottles scattered everywhere.  

Except Rome, which famously insists that visitors behave like Romans, no other destination has ever clearly communicated any such expectations.

Indians are the models of compliance and obedience when we go to Singapore or Dubai because there is one rule for everyone. We do not litter in Tokyo, but we dance on a boat in Kochi Water Metro, because that is our culture.

The NYC police closed the Wall Street for the dancing
400-member Baraat (wedding procession)

But I am happy to share that some countries understand this. The NYC police have several times, closed the streets to traffic where Indian baraatis are dancing.

The internet is exploding with criticism against towel dance and garba in public places, but my effort has been to show the positive side.

Some people insist on remaining members of the audience. We Indians prefer to assume that we are part of the cast. We therefore treat the whole planet as a Broadway musical, breaking into song, dance and enthusiastic commentary whenever the mood strikes, without allowing the geographical borders to interfere with the performance.