40 questions unasked, unanswered

40 questions unasked, unanswered

Forty days i.e. 21+19 days of lockdown in two phases to prevent the spread of Coronavirus will be a lasting memory in our minds- generally of inconvenience and pain, sometimes encouraging or about a new life for some.

The number 40 has great importance in several religions:

Hinduism – Forty-lined Chaleesas are written in praise of various gods and goddesses.

Sikhism – Chali mukte or 40 liberated ones were the 40 Sikhs who on December 29, 1705, laid down their lives fighting near Isharsar against the Mughals who were chasing Guru Gobind Singh.

Judaism (and other Biblical religions) –

·        God forbade the Israelites from entering the Holy Land for 40 years to separate them from Moses and his brother.

·        Moses spent 40 days on Mount Sinai before he received the 10 commandments.

·        Rain fell for 40 days and 40 nights during the Flood (Genesis 7:4). Noah waited for 40 days before releasing a raven after the tops of mountains were seen after the flood, (Genesis 8:5-7).

Islam- He who purifies his faith for Allah for 40 days, Allah will flow the springs of wisdom from his heart to his tongue.

Christianity- Lent is the 40 day period in commemoration of the 40 days Jesus spent fasting in the desert. (Matthew 4:2, Mark 1:13, Luke 4:2)

Buddhism- There are 40 meditation subjects. This challenging list includes a gamut of subjects from a corpse hacked and scattered to contemplation of charity.

I sincerely hope God, whoever He is, in all the religions, takes mercy on us poor human beings worldwide and saves us from this harbinger of sickness and even death.

The lockdown, an effective way to distance social animals from one another, has put evolution in reverse gear. We are inside our caves eating and sleeping, going out only to hunt for food. Yet sitting house-bound my eyes looking at fresh green leaves and birds on trees, flaming gulmohars,  roads clean of  polythene bags and wrappers, paan, paper, fruit peels, and of traffic, questions bob up in my mind.

1.      All Chinese imports including the COVID test kits are considered sub-standard or short lived.  Why is this one of their exports lasting for so long?

2.      Videos of husbands doing household work are all over the social media. Has it erased gender bias or the housewives and stay-at-home moms are finally having their revenge?

3.      The photos and videos of celebrities sweeping their lawns, baking cakes for their husbands or having quality time with their families flood the media.  Are the husbands not seen because they are doing the less glamorous work of doing the dishes or washing and ironing clothes?

4.      Media and hospitals have not reported any alarming rise in cases of domestic violence in spite of people living together in close proximity 24x7 during this almost-house arrest period. Have the couples learnt to love each other again or have they decided to spend the rest of their lives socially distanced from each other?

5.      Cloistered in their homes, couples have been spending too much time together without any other social contact. Will their stocks of condoms last or are we in for a baby boom around year-end?

6.      The children are stuck at home with their parents and this summer vacation is threatening to be a long one. Are they graduating to mental distancing from their parents?

7.      Before China so generously gifted the virus to the whole world, internet used to be bane of all parents. Now teachers and students have shifted to remote learning with internet with no schools and no principals. Will they support going back to the tedious blackboard, pen and paper and attendance registers?

8.      Perfectly socially distanced yet digitally close, we have talked to people not seen for years. Socially, though not physically we have come very close. Will we be expected to follow the same pattern even after the lockdown is lifted?

9.      There is no band baja for the baraat (marriage procession), no grand scale celebrations of birthdays of big names. Will people keep following the five attendees norm or go back to spending mega bucks, dancing on the roads and travelling to distant places to please mama (maternal uncle), chacha (paternal uncle), bua (father’s sister, mausi (mother’s sister), behan- bhai (sister-brother), dost (friend)?

10. The old rituals of social exercising like group yoga, laughter therapy and walks in the park, children hitting balls into people’s windowpanes and interactions like rounds of paplu in the afternoons or pooled dinners have all stopped. Will people give up social activities and move to video gaming and Solitaire?

11.  Meatarians please: like those rare soldiers who do not fight a battle or war in their working life and retire from service unscathed, will hundreds of broilers reared for food, die of an abnormal phenomenon- old age? And the goats and the fish? 

12. In most cities people are surviving on home–cooked food. Will it give rise to food fatigue or tolerance to all kinds of cooking or wives are already regretting that their parents (or they themselves) should have chosen a boy who could cook?

13. Food items sitting at the back of the fridge shelves ignored for long have found place of importance on our menu. Will they continue to have a life on the table?

14. When the factories open they would take a few weeks to manufacture and transport fresh goods. The stores would take time to stock up afresh. Will we continue to help the businesses and without looking at the date of manufacture, use up all their old stocks first? 

15. The rooftops of the cars show a film of dust getting thicker by the day but nobody ventures out of their house to clean these pride possessions which four weeks ago used to be cleaned and shined daily.  Have their owners reached the state of detachment?

16. For most of us who are not in the front, second, third, fourth or even further lines of war against COVID-19, the workplace has changed and we have not been physically present in the same environment. How will the people who climb up the success ladder through politics, affairs, back-stabbing, survive?

17. The only companies which seem to have benefitted from the lockdown are Netflix and maybe Amazon Prime, Hotstar etc. Will they buy theatres, cinema halls and PVRs after the lockdown is lifted or sponsor COVID Thanksgiving parties?

18. Even people like Dr Rajeev have taken to watching Ramayan and Mahabharat a couple of hours a day. Will they turn believers and start talking the pitashri, vatsa, maate lingo?

19. I have watched so much of Crime Patrol, Adalat and Savdhaan India, Hollywood thriller and crime movies, 80 per cent of the time I can rightly guess the criminal and the motive and I still have some days to go. Is that good enough to apply for a job in Interpol? 

20. The meaning of fashion has shrunk to masks to cover nose and mouth. Like Jayalalitha’s capes, will the shops start selling matching masks or will mouth and noses be considered private parts and masks sold under lingerie?

21. With consumers forced to wear masks while going out, will lipstick manufacturing companies declare bankruptcy?

22. The virus has put question marks on the livelihood of makers of nose rings and earrings. Will sales of necklaces and bangles shoot up?

23. People have been living with their locks overgrown like vines clambering down to collars, ears, eyebrows and sans any beauty treatments. Will we still pay the hair cutting and beauty saloons as they jack up their rates to cater to the increased volume of customers or will we start living without editing the results of God’s experiments on our bodies?

24. For some time now everybody will have to wear a face mask. How will the bank staff differentiate between robbers and customers? 

25. Economists have worried about nearly all categories of workers. Which generous soul will fight for the cause of thieves and burglars?

26. With all spending going online, people might continue to do so for the sake and convenience. Will it threaten the livelihood of pickpockets and kidnappers?

27. If any bribe amount demanded before March 24 is still unpaid, will it earn an interest for 40 days?

28. The policemen are one of the categories of COVID warriors and are earning heaps of praises for singing songs and staging dances on how to follow the lockdown rules. Will they continue to sing and dance while in uniform?

29. Neither are we hearing much about politicians of all the parties nor do we seem concerned about them. Will most politicians be rendered jobless and some good ones emerge or will we be left with those garrulous sources of entertainment and exasperation who have strange unscientific and moronic suggestions to offer?

30. The lockdown has distanced secret girl/boyfriends, lovers and adulterers. Will it spell a rise in demand for shrinks, magicians or love gurus and great business for gift and jewellery stores for helping resume their relationships?

31. People are vowing to avoid closed, crowded, air-conditioned places with organism-filled re-circulated air. Will malls, restaurants and bars close down (Aeroplanes and trains are exempted from the list of enquiry because of their high position on the utility chart.)?

32. Alcohol has been the life-saver in sanitizers and no doctor/researcher has so far advised against its use (not even of the beer which incidentally goes by the same name) in the pandemic. Will the government encourage its sale and supply for the sake of health or will we have to continue our efforts to extract alcohol from sanitizers?

33. People have been using the emoji of masked face for silence, but now it has a relevant meaning. Won’t Apple and Yahoo etc come up with emojis about washing hands?

34. Right now no other disease is as scary as Covid 19 is. Are masks putting orthodontists and plastic surgeons responsible for toothpaste sales and perfect pouts, out of work?

35. Celebrities and superstars are teaching us how to wash hands and stay safe from Corona. How will we remember all of that once they go back to earning dollops of money?

36. Socially distanced, the world has learned to live on artificial intelligence. How will natural stupidity survive?

37. Astrology and numerology believers say the astrologers had predicted the pandemic. Then as is the practice, they must have suggested an upaye (way out) to rectify it too. Will they please share it now?

38. People prayed, sang and chanted ‘Go Corona go’. But like a recalcitrant child, the virus strengthened its grip. Will chanting ‘Come Corona come’, hurt its ego and bring about the desired outcome?

39. Coronavirus has not discriminated against or in favour of any religion, race, gender, age or country. Do we hail it as the only unifying factor on the planet in the present times?

40. God’s houses are closed everywhere for prayers while people stay inside their houses to avoid the kripadrishti (benevolence) of the COVID God of death. Will somebody erect a temple to appease this raakshas (demon)?