Asocial

What are we now - asocial or anti-social? 

It is not only extroverts who feed on continuous social interaction to survive in this world, but everyone needs interpersonal and close bonds to some degree to survive and flourish. But Coronavirus has knocked social relations unconscious and recalculated the physical distance all humans must keep from one another for the time being. Till the social situation returns somewhat to what it was earlier, I, a common person, continue to feel distanced socially and physically.

Here is how things seem to me at present and I daresay, maybe for the next few months at least. 

Gone are the days of smiling at unknown babies and nodding at strangers. I cannot greet the others with a smile (or even smirk). Their facial expressions are perpetually hidden behind the mask and so are mine even as we all continue to breathe in our own exhaled air. I can only roll eyes, widen them or wink. How much can you express with them? It is tricky to gauge somebody’s mood by the tone of voice. And yet, the body language is the same, please do not come close. It seems safer to bend my head over the mobile or stare into space.

I cannot just engage my neighbor in a friendly chat when we both open our doors to hand over the garbage bag for collection. We just look at each other and do the job.

My gregarious friends who met over drinks, celebrated birthdays and marriage anniversaries, went for movies and shopping together, exchanged gossip in the beauty parlour, took walks in the park are not in the mood for going to any such place or indulging in these activities now.

I am not sure if people would talk about health, looks, weight, appearance and such issues?

I too am skeptical about hosting cosy get-togethers with friends (long overdue) or going for pot luck dinners.

The older men and women are not talking about when to have the Sundarkaand recitation or attend the bhajan-kirtan/discourse. Even the mention of going to the hospital also scares them.

Casual conversation, idle chatting and discussions over issues have been a part of our culture. Even the kings encouraged it in their courts. But now jabbering mouths have gone relatively quiet and there is only suspicion - has he/she washed his hands or touched something? Men crowded at the chai stall or paan shop and maids talking on the roadside are things of the past now.

Some leader might organize crowd-pulling events, but the sane ones would not go for religious/social/political meetings or fund-raisers. Weddings and official meetings sure are on the no-no list of most of the people I know.

Shops, stores, malls, restaurants, multiplexes and clubs, with or without the air-conditioners running, seem to be breeding grounds for the virus. No, I am not going. I am even staying away from the golgappe seller. People may be missing food at their favourite joints, but will they be brave enough to go there soon?

Maybe the charity work that some people have done in these troubled times and risen above their own interests to serve the others can be a source of positive inspiration to some of us. But it needs a huge sense of sacrifice to go out and mingle with people, and I, a scaredy cat, am not brave enough.

 I am missing some friends and close family members, but neither they nor I am planning to be cooped up in a plane/train/bus and possibly be a victim/carrier of what we have been trying to protect the one another from all along.

The schools will open some day. What will the socially distanced children do? They cannot play together, sit close, share food or whisper secrets into friends’ ears.

Culturally, Indians tend to socialize and bond more than most of the westerners. The mothers in law and daughters in law may crib, complain and quarrel, but in case of trouble, they are generally there to help. The social distance on travel has dealt a blow to that.

The sports lovers may discuss their favorite sport but they might not be able to watch matches, tournaments and games with crowds for some time yet. Even golfers have not ventured out.

Of course, one can talk about the TV shows, podcasts music books he/she has watched, streamed or read, yet for theatre-lovers, the break is indeterminable.

Food is generally one of the safest topics because everyone has to eat. But chances are people are so sick of washing, cutting, chopping, frying, baking, cooking food items for three meals, snacks, hot and cold drinks, day in day out for so long, they do not want to talk about food any more.

I will not ask about art. How can I ask about the museums/galleries/art shows folks have been to recently or plan to?

Everyone tells me news is a bridge and one can always discuss something or the other happening around us. While Covid-19 is still the burning topic, why would I want to add to depression and anxiety talking about Amphan/Nisarga cyclones, the economy, protests in USA, LAC issue with China?

Even though weather gods seem confused or extra gentle this summer, there are not going to be any outings or picnics for at least some months. Maybe I’ll sit in the balcony and reminisce about the past vacations or dream about the next ones or those on my bucket list.

The mention of hometown might make the other emotional. If he/she is unable to visit right now, isn’t it cruel to talk about it?

Too much information about what celebrities have been doing has attacked my ears in the first half of this year. It is not more than idle gossip, so will it be of any use in my life?

Nobody is in a mood for bawdy jokes. Life has gone too serious and the only thing which catches attention is the one minute Tik-Tok videos or memes.

For people in bad marital relationships or trouble at home, workplace used to be an escape which paid too. The job gave a purpose to their day. They finished the housework, dressed up and went out to mingle with the others which gave them a respite from their own life. But with so many people losing jobs and many more working from home I have nothing encouraging or motivating to say.

While working from home seems convenient and keeps the company afloat and the workers gainfully employed, the employees have learnt to live in their shells. The stress of achieving targets and deadlines do not disappear. Working remotely might result in lesser interaction within one’s own department and outside, brainstorming, trust, sense of teamwork, camaraderie and friendship among the staff.

Talking through computer screens and email cannot replace face-to-face communication otherwise official meetings would have become extinct ages ago and so would have the boys’ and girls’ night out for a glass of beer and tales of how drunk they got and made such an ass of themselves.