An open letter to Coronavirus

 

An open letter to Coronavirus

Dear Coronavirus aka COVID-19,

It is with great exasperation and sadness that I am finally writing to you at the end of the lost year - 2020.

So far you do not know me, yet I do not think it rude to point out that in view of your poor reputation, I am wary of meeting you. But since I am human, and a very socially conscious and conscientious one at that, I thought it is high time I should familiarize you with the behavior of us humans, lest the powers that be above both of us, ask me why I did not try to do good to you, even if you are more of an android than a living organism.

Don’t you know that we humans do not like someone else being in our space for very long? We even had a film named Atithi tum kab jaoge (O guest, when will you leave)? It is difficult for humans and their own offspring to live together beyond a point and both ask for space and freedom. Being an outsider to our species, you are not familiar with the lengths people can go to,  to get rid of imposters.

Since you might have not read the wise thoughts written by our scholars, I would share with you something that has been credited to Chanakya, the great diplomat and advisor to the great Maurya king Chandragupta several centuries ago and applies to your present position.

यस्मिन् देशे न सम्मानो... वासस्तत्र न कारयेत् 

(The place where you do not get any respect, you should not live there.)

If you feel that this is merely an idle threat, please check with your ancestors what happened to the rabies, smallpox, polio and several other viruses. You have been amidst us for nearly a year now. Nobody wants to be reminded any more that they are part of this protracted historic event of your presence on this planet.

Since last December when you arrived in India, you have seen all major festivals Lohri, Pongal, Holi, Baisakhi, Dussehra, Diwali, Gurpurab, Id and now just this week Christmas too. In the New Year all these would come again, why do you want to waste energy watching re-runs? My suggestion: go to some other universe and have a taste of their life too.

You have tried to say in your defence that you made humans better, brought families closer, made people rekindle their old interests and brought forth hidden skills and qualities, but your evil actions have heavily outweighed your good intentions.The memes about you too now seem dull.

If this was your fight for rights with God, (His abodes have been deserted in fear of your attack), you should have hired human consultants to chalk out the strategy. Indians are very good at it. I myself have received countless gems of advice for avoiding any possible contact with you. Some of them have been mentioned in the earlier posts if you could take the trouble to read them.

Had you been as intelligent as the common cold virus, we would have tolerated your presence amongst us, fed you rich steaming soups and spiced rum. But in your brutal show of power and virulence, you subdued everyone’s festive spirit and now the inhuman plan is not to give you any opportunity to see even one festival after this. 

I am not sorry to say that finally it is over between us. You and we cannot live together any more.  

Since you thumbed your nose at our ahimsak (non-violent) requests with music and dance routine of taali and thaali (clapping and beating metal plates) a la Bollywood movie and lighting of lamps, the Covid- revolutionaries have given a cry for war. 

If you could read, you would have read about it in the newspapers, if you watched TV, you would have seen how some human beings with superior intelligence and qualifications have made it their life’s mission to find a way to erase your existence from this planet. Working night and day they claim to have achieved an injectable solution and would soon start puncturing and piercing skin of all colours, races and ages to pump this ammunition in for the purpose. Perhaps you would find it hard to believe that they might be awarded and rewarded too for this act.

As a committed armchair advisor I also recommend that you join an online course (in –person is out) for ego and anger management. You have rewritten the history of Coronovirus family by being the strongest after 18 of your ancestors failed? People have forgotten their fears of deadly living beings and you have turned several world leaders’ claims to s***. You have won the top spot in this planet’s modern history as the destroyer of 2020. Isn’t that enough?

I hope my missive puts some sense into you and you socially distance yourself from us forever. Large-hearted and forgiving that we are, we would not even ask for your personal appearance for your apology.

With sanitized concern,

Anupama S Mani