No mishtekk this!

 

No mishtekk this!

I do not know about people from other non-English-speaking countries, but I am very certain that in India, speaking English is considered hip and smart and is  proof that one is educated. The uneducated or the semi-literate, however, use English words without even realizing they are not words of Indian languages. They say it with an accent borrowed from their native language, giving the words a new identity which gets so deeply entrenched in their lingo that you cannot change the pronunciation or understanding. If compelled by your urge to correct/inform/educate/preach you ever point it out, they look at you, their glance clearly asking if you have gone off the wall.  

So it is many times in a day that I hear a buzz in my ears that there is something wrong with the word which trespassed into my auditory canal, but I might not even be able to point out the wrongness of it.

These are the English words absorbed into Hindi of regular use. Whether one says istesan or sateshan, you can fully understand, there is no mishtekk (mistake), they mean station. You too must have heard thousands of such words, but right now I can only remember some of them which I am sharing with you.

These are not words which have been absorbed into Hindi from English such as

afsar (officer), bo-tal (bottle), kaptaan (captain), santri (sentry), kanaster (canister- for metal containers used for storing dry food or oil/ghee), takneek (technique), baira (bearer, used for a waiter), Aktoobar (October).

Neither are these English words e.g. mobile, recharge, email, vote, bill, motor, cricket, ticket, helmet, captain, scooter, time,  light, suit, car, bus, pass, fail, pencil, pen, mask, class, school, principal, etc., etc., which have either no Hindi words or when some of them do have translations or equivalents, they seem contrived and need a lot to remember and speak. I doubt if even a Hindi-fanatic would also call a computer a sanganak (संगणक), a train lauhpathgamini (लौहपथगामिनी) or a mobile phone chal doorbhash (चल दूरभाष). It is easier to speak in a language which the others understand for the objective of language is to communicate.

So what am I talking about? Every region-Punjab, Haryana and Rajasthan/the southern states/ Assam, Bengal and Odisha/Gujarat, has its own trademark pronunciation. The ones I am mentioning are used in the Hindi heartland of our country. 

You get up in the morning have your bettee (bed tea), bruss (brush) your teeth with pesht (paste), drink water from a baatal (bottle), you eat your braikphasht which might include a pharoot. Without realizing you wear a sult (shirt) with a broken batam (button). You check pitrole (petrol) in the byke (bike, but used only for motorcycle), shtaat the injan to go on dooty (duty meaning work) and get beejee (busy). You might also pick up your satifitake (certificate) and go for tooshan (tuition).

But if you bunk and go to a pheymus reshtoorunt (famous restaurant), make sure you go to a place, where the food is taishty (tasty).

Whether you are gens (a gentleman or gents) or ladis (a lady or ladies), you go to the saleema to watch a pichchar (picture, used for movie).

You may use sirmint (cement) for palastar (plaster), and plass (pliers) for plambring  (plumbing).

This lingo is simpal (simple) and right from vegetables like tamatar and mangoes to kneaded dough, anything and everything soft is looj (loose) and firm is tight.  We all know that a dead drunk man is phull tight.

Sigrat pakat phull hai (There is a full i.e. whole packet of cigarettes. Pardon me, but we’ll talk about cigarettes and smoking some other time.) 

There is huddek (headache) in the knees.  So one has to go to the doctor because nobody wants to take any riks (risk) with his health; he wants to kanpharm (confirm) that he is not berry (very) sick.

Social media have made it eejee (easy) for everyone to posht (post), save and send messages on phasebuk, vaatsup.

 

A friend of mine complains angrezi kee maa behan kar dee hai (effed up English).  It is not that people speaking this English are not patriotic or that they do not want to speak Hindi. Just go to their social media accounts and you would be overwhelmed by the pictures of tricolor with zealous slogans which read like battle cries.

What prompted this list was the theft of a motorcycle. The CC TV camera in the parking lot showed the whole incident. The person who was explaining it to me said that earlier they had no infurmayssen (information) but came to know about it when it was bedeo-baayed. I guess he meant video-wired, but I am still not sure and I dare not ask for the fear of looking like a fool who does not understand such eejee berds (easy words) of Ingliss (English). 

The one thing I am sure about is that I made this short lishtt (list) of such words which might one day gain entry into the English lexicon, on my own. I did not order it from amayjan  (Amazon) to poashtt (post) it. You may pharwarrd (forward) it to your friends, pileej (please).

                                                                                                                                - Anupama S Mani