Little little things, big big issues!

Little little things, big big issues!

India is a country whose constitution mentions 22 scheduled languages even as we Indians speak in hundreds of dialects. Obviously, we would need one common language for communication. May I say ‘thanks to the British’ who unwittingly unified India and English began to be used as a tool for communication? (Let us skip lessons in history or patriotism for the time being.) No wonder then, though not our mother tongue, English has been happily accepted as the language of communication in our country.

Yet, always ahead of the rest of the world in small inventions and big discoveries, we have made the best of it and now a researcher can compile a whole new dictionary of English expressions we have ‘Indianised’.

These terms might sometimes pose a roadblock in verbal or written conversation for a native English speaker, but to us Indians, they make perfect sense. You might not find them in the conventional dictionaries but their roots are growing deeper into our vocabulary. Why, if you pointed out to an Indian using these words, they might even be offended that you are doubting their knowledge of English.

I am not talking of English words peppering our conversation, poor translation or wrong pronunciation. I am trying to recall terms which are an Indian take on English and most of us are unsure that they are not part of the Queens’ English or even that of the US of A. Yet so habitual of using them are we, that we might even not know the correct expression. So far, we have owned them publicly but not realised that because of our population’s sole proprietary rights over them, we should take pride in having created them.

Microsoft Word may underline most of these words in red for now, but through the sheer consistent efforts of our huge population, we can force those compiling the dictionaries to accept them and thus practically revolutionize English lexicon.

Can you patent words? If so, we can earn back a lot of money that the British are said to have looted from India.

Coming to the point, I shall stretch the thin membrane of my creativity and try to show this to you through the below paragraphs (that’s what we say instead of following paragraphs or paragraphs below:

Myself Anupama. What is your good name? I want to share what happened today morning. Even if it is time pass for you, do one thing. Kindly read this carefully please.

A friend who has just shifted and now lives on the backside of our house, gave me a missed call today morning. When I rang her up, she said we have to cancel our plans to go buy blouse-pieces for saris, hair clutchers for her daughter and wipers for the floor because her aunt and uncle have preponed their visit and are coming today. They belong to Haryana but live in Noida now.

They are looking for an alliance for their foreign-returned son who earns a six figure salary. They want a fair, beautiful, convent-educated, homely girl not in a job.

The young man, AB, however, wants a love marriage like his cousin brother and not an arranged marriage like his real sister who celebrated her second marriage anniversary yesterday night. I am told it was a mindblasting bash!

Although they are in her close relations and my friend likes her uncle, it is very tough to get along with the proudy aunt.

The problem is the aunt would keep sitting on my friend’s head, eating her brain that she convince their son. We have discussed about this issue and I have told her that she has no boundation to do as they say.

I remember AB as a small boy wearing a monkey cap when he used to come accompanied by a baby maid, to visit my friend’s family. He once told us how there was pin drop silence in class when his teacher gave him a tight slap after he was caught throwing chalk pieces at a front-bencher boy in the class. The teacher called this goondaism and he had to return back from school that day. He kept standing at the bus stand for hours for the school to end, even had his tiffin there, so that his mother would not know.   

AB who passed out of college four years ago, now works in IT. He recently sold his two-wheeler and bought a car. He lives in Noida and daily does up-down to Delhi. 

Naturally, I had to do the needful. The aunt and uncle are pure vegetarians and they love brinjal and ladyfingers. But AB is a non-vegetarian and his favourites are chicken leg pieces. Because there was no current in our colony, I got food parceled from outside even though it was raining outside. There was so much food that the dickey of the car got full.

Oh, I have made a Himalayan Blunder. God promise, I forgot that uncle has sugar and he should not be eating sweets. I got ice cream and rasgullas for him too.

Actually, it is these little little things and not big big issues I worry about. I just do not want my friend taking tension and her head paining . Till now, there is no news, but I will do the updation of all information for you when I meet her next.

                                                                                             -Anupama S Mani