There is time for everything
There is time for everything
Does it happen with you too that sometimes time just passes by and you merely go through the motions of life feeling as if you are not actively participating in it?
For me this past week can be counted as time in that category.
It was like I was merely a mute spectator and not participating in life.
It is not that I had nothing to do all these days but
there seemed no urgency. Even my crochet sat unfinished. During this lethargy
there were intervals of joy and of other emotions, which now seem like snatches
from a dream.
*****
Among the moments that stirred me included the kriya (13th day rituals among
Hindus to bid the final goodbye to the deceased) ceremony of a neighbour’s
father.
One thing if I may share is that food served is
vegetarian, without onion, garlic, not tasted before serving, pakka khana which means not the food we
eat on a regular basis like dal-rice,
roti, veggies but pakwan (food cooked
on festivals and special days) and sweets. The belief is that it pleases the
deceased. Now please do not remind me that when a person leaves this world,
his/her soul is said to have left the body, and that the soul cannot eat or
drink. The custom lives and to me it is a very good way for whoever can attend,
to share their memories about the person gone, offer their condolences to the
family, and get a closure.
 |
| This is just a representation, there was a greater variety of dishes for the meal. |
I was not expecting any food there as the custom is slowly dying out. (Shall talk about it some other time.) But there were freshly deep fried kachoris (Indian bread stuffed generally with spiced lentils paste), dahi bhalle (deep fried lentil doughnuts immersed in sweet yogurt served with tamarind chutney), several other dishes which one would not generally eat together because the whole meal becomes heavy on the stomach, pushed down by kulfi (frozen thickened sweet milk with nuts) served with falooda (glass vermicelli) and gulab jamuns. People present there reminiscing about how they felt close to his father, made my eyes tear up thinking whether the host was feeling like the roof over his head has been swept off and he stands unprotected against the elements, following the loss of his father.
*****
The good news of the children of a couple of friends
getting into the universities of their choice abroad was like a spray of rain
in this horrible weather. Need I add all these are girls? Are the girls getting
smarter or making the most of the opportunities available or is it that parents
of our generation are more liberal and even-handed? Even if it is all of the
above, it is a refreshing change. Somebody tell the boys- buckle up, times have
changed!
*****
Chinese dinner with very dear friends was another waking moment during the week. The company was great and the food enjoyable and my lethargy gone, I even noticed the teeth of this young man painted on the screen. So attentive was I that when I heard that Shalini, a few years younger to me, is planning to advance her gym hours to 5.30 a.m., I slid into my own self, gave her a glazed look, ignored all mention of exercise mumbling ‘too hot to move the cells in my body.'
When the bill came and one
of us objected to the service charge, I recalled the newsreport that had
mentioned government guidelines that restaurants can no longer levy service tax
on diners. We do not know whether restaurant owners earlier shared service
charge with the staff, but now the latter would have to depend solely on tips for
more income and for that the pleasure of the customers at food and service. That is another
tricky issue because there is no fixed system of tipping in India. Why only
last month we had gone to a dinner where the host (with deep pockets) had tipped
a sickening low Rs 70 as tip on a bill of Rs 7000!
*****
Let me come clean now. Why
the week felt like sleepwalking in time was due to Netflix binging till my
eyelids refused to hold their positions and seemed to follow the principle of
gravity. After watching half a dozen Nollywood (Nigerian) films in English, I
made my way through several other languages films - Polish, Spanish, French etc.,
with English sub-titles. Recalling friends’ advice and suggestions, I even
tried watching a series but no, they are not for me (in any language). The
journey might be a pleasant experience, but most of the time we would like to
reach the destination, which the dramas ignore, leaving a crevice for the next
season to put its foot in. The sheer agony of how or whether the story ends, is
too much for me to stand. Let the bravehearts watch them. Naturally I needed to
catch up on my sleep some time during the day and that meant nearly the whole day
gone. And imagine all this to dull the shock of the Hindi film I had watched
and rambled to you about, last week!
*****
Meanwhile, all my petty
efforts at resource conservation have come to a naught with my admission of defeat
at the hands of the weather and I have decided on not cutting down the running
time of the air conditioner. Yes, the amount on the power bill is shocking, but
do you know of a way I can 'hibernate' in summer?
-Anupama S Mani
👍👍🤗
ReplyDeleteHonest and objective
ReplyDeleteWatching Netflix is addictive.
ReplyDeleteLoved the avial you offered us this time Madam. Thoroughly enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteYou have expressed your feelings very nicely all of us feel the same sometimes
ReplyDeleteThe 13th day in the South is a lavish affair, the close relatives of the decease wearing new clothes and the lunch being lavish. No onion or garlic or even certain vegetables, but otherwise a very lavish affair.
ReplyDeleteAs for the power bill, one way is to have a summer house in Bangalore (if you don't have one in Shimla already). You wont need an AC, in fact you will have to run it off and on to keep it going smoothly. Most of the time, not even a fan. Of course you know it already, having lived in Bangalore for some time.