Football and a business plan!

 Football and a business plan!

It has been a week now. The hullabaloo over the FIFA World Cup matches has died down and people have gone back to watching their usual unreal, repetitive dramas and stale news on television.

But what fun that was till it lasted!

Nearly the whole of football-watching India wanted Morocco to win in the semi-finals. In the finals, our prayers were with Argentina. As far as I know, none of us had any personal grudges against the French or France. Why, sil vous plait people not familiar with the game would not even recognise the Fransisi (French) team, “Eh, really! They French?” But then we all go by face value only. Anyway, the only person I met who had some vested interest in France winning the final, was a young entrepreneur who, his eyes bright with hope and fingers crossed, said his French raw material supplier had promised a discount if the latter’s country celebrated the victory.   

Not only that, what to talk of the players of the Argentinian team, I can bet 99.99 per cent of us Indians would not even recognize an Argentinian if he/she stared in our face. In fact, a couple of ‘smart’ people I know made me change my mind about their knowledge of geography when I said I would spend the Sunday evening watching Argentina fight defending champions, France.

I am not a cricket fan. I do not see or read any news about the professional or personal lives of the gods of our country, our cricketers. Count me as the odd one out. But football is a different ballgame altogether.

The first time I became aware of the Football World Cup was ages ago on our trip to Singapore. Mani wanted to watch the matches and the hotel we stayed in did not have the channel. There were no iPads and mobile phones then. So, the sports enthusiast he was (and is), off he went and bought a pocket TV. Instead of visiting the hot spots of the city-state-island-country like a true tourist, he was glued to the TV screen sitting in that cheap hotel we could afford. Undecided, I sat with him peering at the screen. We even got ourselves invited to the house of a colleague’s relative to watch the final on a regular TV.

Back home, Mani proudly took it to office to help his colleagues watch cricket matches. Their brows knitted and eyes unblinking, they tried to watch till after a couple of days they realised they could not even see the leather ball on the three-inch screen and the gadget was relegated to a corner in a drawer. Men and their toys!

On the horizon of my awareness about sports, appeared my son. We all ‘inherit’ latest information and general knowledge from our children and so did I. I do not remember how many replays of FIFA matches I watched with the little boy. As he grew, every year his only desire was to get the new FIFA (EA Sports) online game for PC. I was a frugal and cheap mother and the game was somewhat expensive for a boy by my standards. So, we made a deal. He would get the latest version as a combined reward for his class results and birthday. The dear boy would generously invite me to watch the game with him.

I can recall when my young son came back at three that summer morning in Berlin. He sat on the foot of my bed- charged with emotions, recounting the atmosphere he had been a part of with his friends for the last few hours. Germany had won the world cup. It was not that Germany gave us our salz (salt) and we were namak halal (loyal), but that he felt a bond, it was the energy of the sport and the exultation in the victory. 

World Cup, 2014 Left: The cavalcade passes along river Spree, central Berlin. In the background is the Reichtag building/Reuters  
Right: Jam-packed 'Fan Mile' / Britta Pederson (EPA) 

I am no expert in the rules of the game. But who would not be transfixed by the sheer physical energy of some of the fittest men on this planet - running continuously for an hour and a half, shouting, butting heads, jostling, shoulders crashing into each other, elbows plunging into ribs and stomachs, falling and bouncing off a handful of soil and grass and yet, they stand up and start all over again. I learnt about Messi, Neymar, Ronaldo and several more as I watched mesmerized. The ball stuck to their toes, rolled, and obeyed them.

So, these past weeks I put most things aside and watched several of the matches. For once, I had no complaints about Fox news channel because where I was, only Fox Sports was showing the game. Although I did feel sorry for the people in the USA who somehow remained oblivious of these high voltage performances and struggled with RSV, the new raging virus that is taking the country by the storm.

The important factor was, every day I watched the match, I saw beyond the venue at all the other things going unseen around the mega event.

Now my question is - when is India going to host the FIFA World Cup?

Tweeted by former Indian cricket player
Virendra Sehwag

Look at it this way. This one event saved Qatar from depending merely on Google Maps for its existence and showcased it before the world in its glory. It hosted the Cup despite serious complaints of violations of human rights of migrant workers, women, LGBT, Jewish and Israeli visitors besides, lack of football culture, and controversies surrounding FIFA itself.

It is an economic issue for me, so very helpful for our national coffers. I could suggest- somebody, please ask the finance minister. Then I recall that she was not aware of how ridiculously unaffordable onions had become the year before last because she did not eat onions. Do you think she plays or watches football? Is there anybody else I can share my armchair gyan (knowledge) of economics with?

Please get your calculators. Add up the things that the event could do for us.

I shall begin with the millions of football-lovers coming to India. The flights, hotels, transport, security, food and shopping could rake in so much money the old cash machines droning khat-khat would go into sudden death and make our banks recall all the employees from their unhappy retirement!   

Merely the number of jerseys and other memorabilia people buy for the occasion would resuscitate our dying industrial towns!

We would have lakhs of people haggling over the prices of tickets and bills everywhere - airlines, hotels, dhabas, kiosks, stalls, thelas (carts). Our buses and trains could overcrowd without guilt, auto-rickshaws merrily overcharge.        

With its jam-packed stadia, Qatar pooh-poohed the old belief that football and beer are synonymous. We can go Bharatiya and besides the old favourites - samosa, pakoras, kachori, masala chai, mango lassi, we can sell bhindi (okra) & lauki (bottle gourd) pizza, ragi pancakes, paneer Manchurian, jaljeera and what not.

Imagine the glee of our political VIPs, their vehicles honking horns on the roads for weeks as they go about inaugurating matches and venues. The policemen would find a purpose in their lives as they wield their lathis at the human oceans and leer at the eye candy pass by.

All that (un)hygienic water and hastily prepared food, colas, liquor, poorly followed road rules, would send such long queues of patients to clinics and hospitals that doctors, physicians or pharmacies, everyone would want it again. Why even diagnostic laboratories would have a string of field days!

Have I forgotten the public officials, architects, contractors, decorators for construction, lights and other arrangements for the match venues?

This would also give an excellent opportunity to our fading Bollywood stars to dance and earn mega bucks on stages.

When India hosts the World Cup

Phew, the volume of business it could bring! The thousands of jobs it would create. And this original idea came from a leather patchwork sphere kicked by foot!

Doesn’t the World Cup feel a little like our own home political scene? There must be hundreds of people- families, friends, coaches, managers, sponsors, yet nobody talked of them, it was only Messi’s show. The winner takes it all!

The only similarity is that a la Modiji, he also shared an emotional moment with his mother Celia Maria Cuccittini after the win.   

The envy of most men

Lucky Messi! Our prime minister is reported to have millions of ardent followers (bhakts). But to earn them, he must work 18 hours, constantly be on the move within the national boundaries or outside them, change his outfits several times a day, mouth big words, smile in pictures to remind people he is a simple man, owns no property, has given LPG connections, got toilets made, etc.

Outside that goal post is Lionel Messi, did nothing for anyone from among the crowds, stayed quiet, wore the same outfit and old tattoos, has a family that he loves, only plays, got lucky in a penalty shoot-out, rakes in mega millions, yet garners so much love, goodwill. He had the prayers of all and everyone celebrated his victory. Even film stars across party lines took recourse to sending messages on Elon Musk’s property to express their joy.

Any takers for my multi- billion-dollar business proposal?

A man takes his seat at the FIFA World Cup final and notices there is a vacant seat between him and the next guy. Man: Who would miss the FIFA World Cup Finals? Guy: That was my wife’s seat. We have been to the last five World Cup finals together but sadly she passed away. Man: Oh, that‘s terrible and very sweet of you to symbolically have her here by having a vacant seat. But these are expensive tickets, couldn’t you have brought another family member, a friend, or someone else with you? Guy: No…they are all at her funeral.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                     ^{-Anupama S Mani}