Mom, I came first!

Mom, I came first!

We are a proud nation. We take pride in our habits, customs and rituals. No wonder then, that after trying out some western way, dissatisfied we return to the comfort of our old tried, tested system, e.g., after bingeing on Netflix for several hours, we come back to quoting our own films while dealing with various situations in everyday life.

One such dialogue mentioned very often is, ‘Hum jahan khade hote hain, line wahin se shuru hoti hai (The queue starts from where I stand)’ spoken in the famous baritone of Mr. Amitabh Bachchan. Although we have been following this long before his pronouncement, it began to be quoted more after he gave his stamp of approval.

Crowding or cutting queues comes naturally to a considerably large fraction of our population.

No, it is not our intention to break any rule. Our centuries-old culture teaches us community-living, to stick, celebrate and mourn together, live in a family, share with friends, walk in a group, play in the neighbourhood. We learn to compete, push for space, perform better and be the winner. Didn’t your mother say ‘let us see who finishes his/her milk/food first’ when you were a kid? Remember that moment of pride when you raised your arm to hold aloft the report card/trophy/certificate after beating all the others in academics/sports/co-curricular activities?

It is not that we are condescending to the well-behaved people waiting patiently for their turn in a line. It is just that our time could be more valuable and our need greater than of those waiting for their turn, shifting from one leg to the other or staring at their mobile screens at billing counters, bus stops, ticket windows, check-in counters, flash sales, ATMs, hospitals, polling booths or for college admissions.

Britain could teach the world a thing a two about queuing. Cartoon by Douglas Law (1940)

We are a nation of a whopping 1300 million and if all of us waited in a single file, we would have to form circles around the earth and you can calculate what a humongous waste of resources that would be.

Therefore, we follow the rule of nature. Birds do not queue up to peck on birdfeed and animals pounce on the prey in groups. Has any wildlife photographer shot any video of predators politely uttering ‘pehle aap (you first)’ before they tear the kill apart?

We do not need human beings standing one behind the other to celebrate Holi or at music and sports events. Would you even care to watch a sports event if the players waited for their turn instead of the excitement that push, pull, jostle, shove, snatch, throw, create?

So, why follow the unnatural system of queueing up? Slipping quietly to take up vacant space in front of someone standing listlessly in a line, is faster and more fruitful use of space.

Queueing up is also against democratic rights to stage protests or hold demonstrations. We would not have been a free country, had we lined up to ask for our rights.

Japan vs India 

One excellent example is of Mumbai commuters who swarm into or out of local trains. If these lakhs of commuters tried to emulate the disciplined Japanese and stood in a line, most of them would be spending months on the platform waiting for their turn to get into the train or inside the iron box, to get out.

Making passengers frequently queue up at airports is a sign of lack of confidence among staff. You queue up every time, to show your ticket and ID proof to get into the terminal building, to check in or drop your bags, for security clearance, to get into the bus, to board the plane, to get out and sometimes, for getting your luggage x-rayed before or after the flight too. 

But at the baggage belt nobody queues up and that is so wise. You might have been the first to hand over your bags at the check-in counter but by the time other passengers have exited the terminal with their bags, gotten into their vehicles and are half way home, you could still be waiting for the possessions you handed over to the airline agent.

During a buffet meal, when someone wants a second helping, do they stand in the queue with their appetite half satiated? No, the enterprising ones come from the opposite direction or slide/push through a gap, fill up their plate and holding it above others’ heads, retreat.

If you feel it is not right to jump the queue in a religious place, just pay the fee and attain VIP access. Good for both the parties!

The sea of humans at the Srisailam temple 

The talk of queue management in retail business management is humbug. You are made to wait in a line to make the payment and the stores try to manipulate you into impulsive purchase of items you may not need, by putting them near the check-out counters.

When jumping a queue, you meet some people who have reached zen-level calmness of mind. They step back to allow you room and may even smile, totally understanding that jagat is mithya (world is an illusion) and whatever is in their destiny, they would get it. You may thank them, start up a conversation or even share food.

The other kind, however, might not be impressed with your existential skill and get verbally or physically violent. As a well-wisher, my suggestion is to first assess your own lung and punch power, mental strength, communication skills, besides of course the mood of the crowd, the temperature of that place, the time available in such cases, and then act accordingly.

Ignore the tut-tutting and muttering under breath, rolling of eyes, shaking of heads of the weaklings and like a soldier with a mission, jump ahead and show the world you deserve to be the first. 

Tell me, have you ever heard of a criminal case being filed against anyone for jumping a queue?

Queue outside a liquor shop after lockdown was lifted. Photo: PTI

Meanwhile, it is highly libellous to say that Indians do not stand in queues. Have you forgotten the human presence in serpentine forms in front of liquor shops when they opened during the Covid lockdown period? Or the queues in front of the ATMs after demonetisation? After all, one does what he/she must do.

I forget the number of times my SO has, in a caustic voice, advised me to think from the other person’s perspective; I hope my humble effort to dive into and swim in the queue-jumpers’ minds for better understanding, has been a proof that I can.

                                                                                                - Anupama S Mani