Elections challenge my grammar!

Elections challenge my grammar!

Cartoon courtesy: The Hindu

That polling to elect 543 members of Lok Sabha, the lower house of our country’s Parliament, are underway and that the results will be announced on June 4, is not news. In fact, I remember it was as early as beginning of last year that discussions in media had started about who is going to win and form the government this year.

My rule is not to get into arguments about politics, not because expressing my views would have me losing a friend or two.

It is because engaging in informed and wise discussions on national, even international politics, is not my strong point. I always lose during debates in our private circles because I have people in mind who should contest elections. Once in the seat of law-makers, they I feel,  can torpedo the country into the position where each government claims ‘it’ has brought Bharat in. But if I suggest this to these good people, they look at me as if I am hallucinating, the rude ones even put their thoughts into words. So much for being patriotic and nationalistic!

I have no idea how one can recognize proteges in the field of politics. China is said to identify wonder kids in different fields and segregate them solely for intense training. That is how they win the maximum number of gold medals in games.

Why I remember the Chinese exchange student in his pre-teens who had come to live with us in Berlin. One day he sweetly asked me, “Mama, can I go to play football?” My heart swelled up at the form of address and the subdued tone. Displaying the large-heartedness which alas, I am not mostly given to, I gushed, “Yes, why not?” and he rushed out of the house whooping. When the boys came back at sunset, the visitor said to all of us, “Don’t tell my parents.” Slowly, he spilled the truth. He was a known violinist and his fingers were insured against all injuries except those received in sports. He was not supposed to indulge in any activity, least of all sports which could cause him injury. Red-faced and annoyed, I could only think no wonder the big podgy boy had asked me so sweetly.

No such system exists in India for any category, least of all politicians, although you may have noticed people indulging in politics at different levels from within the family to friends, neighbourhoods, offices, residential societies, organisations of all kinds, and the larger-state or national level.  

Cartoon courtesy Left: Neelabh Toons Right: Sandeep Adhwaryu

What do elections cost us?

Calculate the total time spent on not only holding of elections and results, or by the candidates whose future is at stake, their supporters who get to gain from the former’s victory, the media whose job it is to inform people, or influence them as is being seen now, but also in discussions and surmises by most citizens or even mandays used up in attending rallies.

Let me not mention the money factor. All the expenditure on campaigns and canvassing, venues, petrol, banners, posters, decorations, traffic chaos, electricity, water used and freebies doled out, would be considered criminal under ordinary circumstances.

Not only that, the damage to the environment with the noise pollution, use of fossil fuel for vehicles, waste of paper and fabric, tons of flowers, is bad for the environment.

I am not putting a price on the effort and energy of humans spent in this humongous work whether it is voluntary due to selfish reasons or forced like for the government employees.

For these 44 days all administrative work has come to a near stop because officials are focusing on election duty, are moving with political leaders in power or those desiring it, and security forces are moving from one area to another to prevent the expression of unrest within. They would indeed earn hefty amounts of allowances, but consider the load on the government funds.

If we channelized everything mentioned above into actual nation-building, India would be a developed nation long before ‘Amrit Kaal’ ends.

But the above factors generate employment and income for millions, so they are beneficial, people tell me. Someone cruelly remarked I am jealous because I neither have the guts to contest election nor do I qualify for any recipient category for freebies. I am not even lucky in these matters. To stress the point, she recalled how last time gas prices were reduced the day after I got the LPG cylinder.

I have a unique problem in that elections, especially campaigning, challenge my knowledge of English grammar which is not good if I plan to continue writing for some time. Let me illustrate case in point.

Tenses: The leaders of all parties claim that the future of the nation is perfect with them while, the past/present with any other party has been or is imperfect.

Degree of comparison: The situation is never positive. Any party in power is doing better than the earlier government while the earlier government could only do the worst that the voters would ever see. 

Cartoon courtesy: India Today

Adjectives: You too must have noticed how our political leaders’ knowledge of words and expressions is extraordinary. Some of the adjectives (epithets) they use for their opponents, if they did against a common voter, he/she would never see their face again. Do they dare call a voter chor i.e. thief as in Chowkidar chor hai? (The watchman is a thief).

Is it to be counted among the use of negatives or adjectives when I am made to understand that your or my parents and grandparents perhaps only existed like cattle; their blood, sweat and hard work did not achieve anything worth mentioning till Amrit Kaal started?

Something about history, not of grammar, but there are two opinions on the beginning of Amrit Kaal too. All this while I was under the impression that our good times started with becoming free of the rule of the British, but now it looks like the calendar came into effect only a decade ago.

Similar is the case of use of opposites: someone please tell me the opposite of inflation/unemployment going up. Does it ever come down? Under any government?

Personal pronouns: The prime minister is the head of the executive and if he is saying something, he must be right. Yet when he talks of himself in third person, I feel that it is ruining my knowledge of pronouns which was still struggling with mastery over the choice of he/him/his, she/her/hers or they/them/theirs.

Are elections a synonym for wrestling/boxing? Elections too are fought among the candidates in the arena, and after much legwork and show of vocal and money power, is the winner announced.

Now my dilemma is whether democracy should be used as a noun or an adjective? Is it democratic autocracy or autocratic democracy? Anyone confident in grammar?

Cartoon courtesy: The Hindu

                                                                                   -Anupama S Mani