Management by Jargon

Management by Jargon

The first time I was asked to submit a completed task by ‘EOD’, I had to look up the abbreviation. I learnt that it merely meant ‘end of day’. Several years have passed, I am still not sure though if it is the end of their day or mine, also workwise or otherwise. Don’t you think we could have different timings for calling it a day and switching off to the world?

If you feel that corporate jargon is a language manufactured only to make you feel ignorant, take heart. Like thousands of other words, which had been buzzwords in their time, our future generations would find these too in the dictionary with ‘archaic usage’ marked on them.

Although I feel that the phrases the corporate world uses, can jolly well be expressed in simple everyday English, yet if they want to have a code language among themselves or work hard to sound professional and knowledgeable, who am I to criticize? After all, we all know someone or the other who is ‘in the corporate’, as the usual expression goes, and occasionally slaps them on us.

Out of the scores of examples of corporate babble, excuse me, jargon, we hear, I am mentioning just a few this and next week, so that we all feel our own language has evolved.

Above my paygrade – That is outside the scope of my responsibility, better let someone higher up address it.

Actionable item – One can understand it as something on the ‘to-do list’ as it refers to a task/action which needs to be performed by an individual/team. Another one ‘actionable insight’, I was told, is an alternative for useful data, and of course, information would have sufficed for data too.

ASAP - Pronounced ‘ay-sap’, this acronym is for ‘as soon as possible’, meaning asking to do something urgently.

Balls in the air -Think of the magician in a similar situation and you nod your head - ‘too much on his plate’! So, this one has several things/activities/tasks going on simultaneously.

Ballpark figure Cambridge dictionary translates it to ‘a number that is a guess, but one that you believe is near the correct number’. Isn’t that what an ‘estimate’ or ‘guess’ means?

Benchmark is merely a reference point or standard. You heard the boss saying, “We need to establish benchmarks for performance evaluation.” A benchmark is the kind of mark a surveyor would make in a pillar/wall/building as a reference point to measure altitude. (Oxford Dictionary). If corporates are to encroach upon other areas of expertise for lingo, couldn’t they perhaps use the much commoner ‘yardstick’?

Bring it to the table – You have a plan/course of action/proposal/suggestion which could be of use/benefit? Bring it to us.

Core competencies A person's strengths -skills, knowledge, capabilities. I suppose I am making it easier to understand when I say, “We all know the core competency of our politicians.”

Circle Back Simply put, it is saying- stop this here, let us discuss/meet/talk/reconnect on whatever is the issue later; no big decisions now.

Customer-Centric (also customer-focussed). They were merely trying to say that they focus on their customers (as opposed to their own pockets?).

Cutting-Edge Generally used for technology; I daresay ‘innovative’ or ‘advanced' would not be bad choices, but if the superhero speakers like knives, and blades, so be it.

Deep dive. Common people call it in-depth or thorough or detailed research/analysis, but corporates perhaps wish to stress that our earth is made up of 2/3rds water so why not include something of that element too, once again encroaching, this time into the territory of creatures living in the dark depths of the blue waters. 

Deliverables is the big word for an assignment or task, so an update on your deliverables means (don’t sit there cocooned in your tiny cubicle,) share the task progress.

Ducks in a row. Imagine that and you get a sense of order, preparation, and organisation, and any one of the words is what the corporate creed wishes to say about putting everything together before embarking on a project. 

Close of play signals the end of a game/match. It is also the other way of saying EOD.

Future-Proof Don’t fret, it is the corporate buzzsound (am I coining a new word?) for something which can stand the test of time- you know ‘resilient to change’ or simpler still, ‘long-lasting’. Except those in the business of manufacturing FMCGs or ‘use and throw’ products, every manufacturer whether of hardware or software, promises future-proof products.

Game Changer This one, I suppose anybody can guess, is the other way of saying some action/idea/step/strategy/ or feature etc., so extraordinary or unique that it would transform the situation.  You could also say in fancy words the new element would ‘revolutionise’ or give a ‘competitive advantage’ to the business, but hey, who is listening?  So go ahead, you may also say ‘have a disruptive impact on’ instead of game changer.

Get on Board You get aboard, you agree. Let us ride/sail/fly together.

Good to Go – Remember we say good, go ahead? That is already good to go.  

Heads up You hear that, be forearmed, they are warning you, alerting you to something.

Holistic approach- As a child all-encompassing or comprehensive, even all aspects, felt like big words, now the suits have found this bigger expression. Nowadays everyone advises to take a holistic approach to business/marketing, even education and medicine.

Laser Focus - Outside of medical field, ‘laser’ has been used for sharp, even extreme, so naturally it would be sharp/extreme focus. 

Leverage The ‘corporates’ use this big eight-letter word to say ‘make use’, even ‘rely on’. Does your seemingly useless employee have any skill/strength you can leverage?

Low-Hanging Fruit Visualise that. Plucking a low-hanging fruit is so easy, demands little effort. Similar is an easy task/opportunity/ that gives good, also quick results.

Monetize The ‘y’ in ‘money’ is missing when someone uses this word to let you know that they want to earn from something. My favourite, you can understand is, I am looking for ways to monetize this blog.

These are only a few (A- M), and I have not put them in categories of business, finance, or human resource. Please chew on these this week, they should be enough for now.

Anyway, heads up, the weekend has begun. I hope you have your ducks in a row for a splendid time! (To be concluded)

                                                                                           - Anupama S Mani