Ask a Stupid Question Day

No Question Is Really Stupid!

Finally, the calendar has shown that it understands my problem. Tomorrow, the 28^th of September is Ask a Stupid Question Day!  

Being a Punjabi, I was fed on a healthy diet of ਪੁੱਛਣ ਵਿੱਚ ਕੀ ਹਰਜ਼? (Puchchhan vich kee Harz? What is the harm in asking?) I happily ask a local for directions, while Mani argues with Google map, mumbling, cursing. The more frustrated he gets, the less likely he is to ask a stranger for help. (Apparently, it is a male thing). I, on the other hand, can shamelessly ask a passerby willing to stop and guide me.

Why ask questions?

I ask when I don’t know, do not understand, have not seen, or am simply curious about something. I ask about knitting patterns, recipes, language, places, phone features, even life’s puzzles and hundreds other things. I ask to seek solutions, and venting is reserved exclusively for my close friends. 

No doubt, I have asked a fair share of stupid questions, some of which have embarrassed me later that I did not know such a simple answer! Sometimes, I apologise, sometimes I shrug and move on.

Some people answer, some shake their heads they do not know or will get back later, and some have that look on their face that says- What a stupid woman asking this!

But hasn’t it ever happened that you asked a question and somebody later said- I’m so glad you asked that. I had a similar question but was hesitant to ask. And that moment makes it worth the embarrassment.

Lessons from children and schools

Children are champions at this, asking hundreds of “whys” every day. While the adults get exasperated, the young ones are stocking up their treasury of knowledge, and that is how they observe, experiment, and learn.

Back in the 1980’s, some U S teachers realised that students were not asking questions, too scared of sounding foolish. So, they created a day allowing them to ask what was nagging their brains. It helped them open up, satisfy their curiosity, clarify doubts, all without being mocked at or feeling vulnerable. Britain too adopted the idea. I am told even India, took it up. Yet, I have no idea which schools these are.  

You ask a question, but may also ask another, a supplementary or clarification, because that is the only way to get information. Even a question asked to fill an awkward silence or out of politeness- Aur phir aaj kal kya chal raha ha? (What is going on) might yield a surprise answer.

The old saying is ‘no question is stupid’, but perhaps only the unasked one. Yet, most of us are wary of asking, worried whatever will the others think or they might think us incompetent. In a new environment, we assume that we are expected to know all the answers, somebody has already asked the question and we are merely wasting everybody’s time or that the answer is obvious. But one cannot come to table always knowing the answers. If we all arrived knowing everything, what use would AI be? Machines exist because humans asked questions.

When is a question actually stupid?

Stupid is as subjective as beautiful anyway. To me a question is stupid if it is unclear, making it difficult for the listener to identify the query behind it.  Or if it is rude, sarcastic, insulting, biased, or asked to provoke. Everything else is fair game.

Design consultant Erika Hall, who specializes in helping clients ask the hard questions, says, “… we are rewarded for having answers. We are not rewarded for asking questions. And there’s a sense of if you don’t have an answer, you’ll look incompetent.”

The only people who do not ask questions are the dogmatic ones or those merely toeing the line. They blindly follow the tradition, almost like a superstition, without questioning the logic behind it.

Power of curiosity

After all, for centuries, humans saw everything falling. Newton too must have noticed his own pee going down, yet his search for the ‘why’ behind it gave us gravity. Now, however, we think this law is common sense. Every discovery or invention has been the result of asking questions, someone daring to sound dumb. Most likely, your question is not stupid, it could be your short-sightedness in asking yourself who you should put it to.

Go ahead, ask that question!

Go ahead, tomorrow ask something buzzing in your head for a long time. Let the others judge you, it is their problem. For the sake of your mental health, do not nurture the regret- Why didn’t I ask? It is costlier than their eyerolls.

Who knows, a question you fear is stupid, might save time and effort, prevent disaster, or spark the next big discovery!

September 28: Ask a Stupid Question Day —dare to ask, satisfy curiosity, and maybe spark your next big discovery! 

                                                                                                   - Anupama S Mani